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Couldn't ask him by ~BurNttoaast:iconBurNttoaast:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Humor > Spoken Word


I ate my pizza,
Trying not to notice how I moved and acted just like the man across from me,
His simple gestures and posture of sitting,
And the way he observed the table in front us while talking,

Mother says we share the same scent,
I’m curious of what I smell like,
But I’m too afraid,
To ask him if I could smell his scent
©2008 ~BurNttoaast
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Submitted: January 2
File Size: 486 bytes
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Comments: 5
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Author's Comments

This poem is meant to be simple and quietly translated on the outside, but it has a more inner meaning than just a simple sit down eating pizza.
Anyways comments and criticism are always apprecicated to writers :)

~BurNttoaast

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~AlexisCobain:iconAlexisCobain: Jan 5, 2008, 12:52:56 PM
I like the simplicity of this composition ...

the feelings, the atmosphere I can breath reading this lines..

I feel like I'm sit in front of them, I feel like I can smell their scent...

this is so real, I feel a little part of myself in it...

--
*+*+ Xmas Wishlist! :heart: [link] *+*+
~BurNttoaast:iconBurNttoaast: Jan 5, 2008, 12:56:04 PM
I understand perfectly, thank you so much,
i really want my work to be like that, so people can actually feel it when they read it,

thanks again =3
<33

--
"I wanted to meet you as if it were fate"
~AlexisCobain:iconAlexisCobain: Jan 5, 2008, 12:59:28 PM
you're welcome....

you did a very good job... keep it that way!

--
*+*+ Xmas Wishlist! :heart: [link] *+*+
~FunSizedEmi-Chan:iconFunSizedEmi-Chan: Feb 9, 2008, 6:48:47 PM
I like this a lot..I can relate to the feeling ^ ^

--
"...And I wwill be calling you to see
If your sleeping, are you dreaming?
If your dreaming, are you dreaming of me?"
-Justin Furstenfeld-
-Blue October-
~BurNttoaast:iconBurNttoaast: Feb 9, 2008, 8:09:52 PM
Yay thank you so much for reading ^-^
Im glad you could relate to the feeling through my words =D

--
"I wanted to meet you as if it were fate"
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